I’m at a loss for what to say this week.
This weekend doesn’t seem real.
What happened in Orlando… I just can’t comprehend how someone could be so evil.
Vegas and I were at THAT CLUB just 8 months ago. We’d gone to Orlando to play in a softball tournament. Our team won second place, and that’s where we went to celebrate. We danced all night, Vegas blew out the heel on her shoe, we hung out on their patio, I used that bathroom a few times having had far too many bourbon and diets… it was so much fun.
How can this happen? Why in the world is it possible for a civilian to buy a military grade rifle? How could it have been allowed for someone who has been on an FBI watch list to buy ANY type of gun?
But the most terrifying part? That could have been us. It could have been me. What a lot of people don’t understand is what it’s like to always have a bit of fear in the back of your head. Yeah, I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me or who I love… but it doesn’t change the fact that just 10 years ago I wouldn’t touch my partner in public without wondering if we’re going to be attacked verbally or – god forbid – physically.
Yes, it’s gotten a lot better in the past few years. Yes, I live in a much more liberal part of the US now. But it’s still there. I still hear the voice in the back of my head telling me to look twice at my surroundings. And then this happens… reminding me that it’s justified.
I’m not a terribly emotional person, but FUCK. These past few days… it’s been like getting kicked in the stomach over and over and over. I can’t even begin to imagine how the family and friends of the victims must feel.
I have read articles and watched videos about the 49 who were killed, trying to know them so I can remember them for whatever reason. Maybe because I’d want somebody to do the same for me? Wouldn’t you? I hope you’ll take the time to watch this short clip about those that were killed. To listen to their names, their stories, the sound bytes from those that love them.
Everything in the news lately has been hard. The rapist from Stanford getting off too easy, the orange-faced psychopath running for president, the bomber stopped before he could get to LA’s Pride, the Orlando shooting… my heart aches.
It’s hard to get past it… but there has been good too. Lines to donate blood so long they have had to turn people away. Monetary donations to the victim’s fund. Messages or sympathy and awareness. On Monday I passed two old men waking down the street in matching “love conquers hate” shirts. There are still so many wonderful people around us.
I almost don’t want to do this today… seems a little trivial in light of what’s going on around us. But food is love. Food is joy. So here’s what I ate Sunday.
Read on and link up to Jenn’s WIAW baby at the bottom.
Breakfast:
The usual morning cocktail with a handful of vitamins.
I was struggling to get going after hearing the news… so I grabbed coffee and a brownie before we set off to play softball. The brownies are legit – Heather’s protein brownies are tasty and healthy enough for breakfast.
Lunch:
A much-needed relaxing lunch overlooking the beach with old friends from Atlanta. It was really nice to have a piece of home.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGm8P6gGjRI/
Snack:
A quick Quest bar in the while while running errands.
Dinner:
I was feeling like something light, so a salad it was. I piled it high with tempeh, spinach, avocado, tomato, and cucumber. My dressing was a mix of garlic hummus, nutritional yeast, and apple cider vinegar. Finished with a drizzle of my favorite truffle balsamic reduction.
[Tweet “Hate solves nothing. Remembering the 49. #PrayForOrlando”]
***
I’ll be back with something fun soon… I have a helpful, funny post Friday!
What do you do when you need to cheer up?
Brownies for breakfast… legit or no? It had to happen ya’ll. 😉
Brownies for breakfast would definitely cheer me up. And yes, this Orlando thing is so ridiculously hate-filled and was completely unnecessary. What was he trying to prove? I just don’t get how people can be so evil and heartless.
I can’t even imagine how someone would think that’s an appropriate way to prove a point… whatever it was he was trying to prove.
The pain has been felt all over the world… I keep hearing the life stories of the victims on the news – my heart breaks but I also want to hear about them, to know them, those people as real and as full of love and hope as you and I. Love must triumph over fear and hate. Knowing this to be true in my heart keeps me strong every day.
(Tried to link up but there was an error again… Fingers crossed you can do your magic for me lovely)
Very well said. xoxo
(P.S. Saved you right after you posted this comment!)
So so awful. I am still watching the coverage. Can’t get over it. I can’t imagine how you feel especially since you were there fairly recently. It’s just so scary and so hard for me as a mom who has to raise her child to aware of what happens in this world today.
I was thinking that, as I have a lot of friend who’ve recently had babies. It’s a scary world.
Im so with you on the sadness and the shock and the WHEN ONE IS UNSAFE NONE OF IS IS SAFE notion.
It sounds a little silly but Im really looking forward to shabbat services this weekend at my temple.
It was already planned to be a PRIDE Shabbat BUT (I love me my rabbi <3) we've invited all of the Muslim community to join our Pride service as well.
<3
I love that quote… when one is unsafe, none are safe. Well-said.
Your temple/Rabbi sounds amazing!!!
It’s shocking and heartbreaking. This mass shootings keep me awake at night. All I can do is pray!
You’re right, food is love and we have to enjoy everyday for those who couldn’t! Like having a brownie for breakfast.
So so heartbreaking and shocking! Crazy that you were there recently and close to all of it. It’s really too much to think about and just too sad.
It does feel like too much to think about. 🙁
My best friend is gay and every single time something like this happens, my heart break wide open for her. She too lives with that constant fear, her kids have been the victims of hate at school because they have two moms, she has the same worry about touching her partner in public and it’s something I just cannot fathom. I hate it and want to make it better, want to educate these people, want LAWS to prevent this kind of atrocity from ever happening to anyone, ever again. And yes, the lines for blood donation, the solidarity in some parts of the country and the Tony awards tribute are some of the positives but, I’m feeling like there is so much negative and it’s just the worst.
I cannot believe you were actually in that club!!!!! Ugh. I can’t even imagine it. xoxoxo
Oh no… I have NO clue why people would be cruel to kids because they don’t “like” the parent. Good grief.
On a happier note, LOVED James Corbin’s intro at the Tonys!!!
There are no words to describe the pain and sorrow and heartbreak that we felt when hearing the news. And we’re still in mourning – beautiful post. Thanks for hosting and continuing to are your eats – it does seem trivial, but you are right food is love … life is love … we must remember them!
Thank you, Melissa. xoxo
Beautiful post. I couldn’t agree more and I will definitely take the time to watch that clip of the victims. It gives my stomach pains too to think about the families that lost their loved ones. xoxo
Thanks Kelly. Take care of your stomach! 🙂
I’ve been thinking about the Orlando situation a lot recently, and I will have my response tomorrow. But I so agree–hate solves nothing. Hate is a waste of an emotion. Nothing truly constructive comes from hate. And it SUCKS. Sucks sucks sucks that the world is hard wired that way. Coming from the South–we grew up in a place that has such a history of hate. I am glad that we are examples of people who rose above that.
Oh, Susie… I always love your perspective. Thank you so much, for this and for your beautiful post.
Praying. Praying. Praying.
Yes… thank you. xo
When I need to cheer up I often listen to stuff, sing, walk, or pray. Also brownies for breakfast sounds good!
Thank you for sharing the link Laura. Everything you say and feel is true. Its just, awful. Scary and sad and just impossible to understand. Its easy to feel hopeless in these situations, so we just have to keep focusing on the beauty in people that does exist.
You are so right… there are more good, beautiful people than bad.
I’m not someone who usually gets emotional but reading the beginning of your post brought tears to my eyes- you articulated so many peoples thoughts perfectly <3 That is so unbelieveably scary you were there several months ago- I'm sure that is a surreal and disturbing feeling.
Thank you Jess. It’s hard to find the right words…
I’m so jealous you’re in ITALY right now! One of the first things I said to Vegas Sunday was “can we move t Italy now???”
I am ALL for brownies for breakfast! Have you tried the Nature’s Bakery double chocolate brownies? I eat those as “breakfast dessert” way too often 🙂
I agree 100% with everything you said. It’s been hard to watch the news lately, but that CNN video of the victims was well worth watching. I have friends who have been in that club several times before and were planning to go again in a couple weeks. It’s just awful to think that it could’ve been them in there or anyone else I know. I can’t even imagine what the families and survivors must be going through right now.
Oh wow… that’s incredibly scary to be so close especially. I’m so glad your friends are safe!
This is so, so sad. I have lived in some of the most liberal places in the world (Sydney, London, etc) and even there I often felt scared to be openly affectionate with past girlfriends. I find it so insulting when certain people claim this is NOT an attack on the LGBT community. Reading all the crap on Facebook about Muslims, gun control and general Trump support after the events of this weekend genuinely makes me want to move to a deserted island with no internet connection. Stay safe over there!
Evie and I were just talking about how infuriating it is that people would say this isn’t an attack on gay people. It was so clearly a hate crime! And don’t even get me started on that fucktard Trump…
The scene in London was really moving. It’s amazing to see countries support each other like that.
What happened is so sad and terrible, all we can do right now is pray <3
you have every right to be emotional. This one reason why i really want to leave the states. Call me ignorant but still, i loathe all this. BUT I LOVE YOU! <3
SAME. I was practically begging Evie to just STAY in Italy when we go this fall.
Focusing on the good… doing good… is about all you can do at this point. No, it doesn’t solve everything, I honestly don’t know what will, but if we can continue to LOVE and do good, that will absolutely overcome evil and hate. We have to believe that.
We love the both of you, and are sending hugs your way my friend. xo Maybe just come to Canada 😉
I am so hoping that’s the case… I wouldn’t mind Canada either though! I could be a snow bunny. 🙂
Hey I tried Tempeh for the first time this week! Not bad!
My prayers are with you both, friend. I don’t understand the minds of others, but I do agree love conquers all. It’s not my place to judge anyone, just accept them of one of God’s own just like me who is far from perfect. I have family and friends from FL who are considering moving, it’s sad. I heard he was going to attack Disney World, what’s next? Stay strong and thank you for your honest post. And, of course, thank you for sharing my brownies! Peace and love, friend.
Thanks Heather… it’s a scary time for everyone. That’s a whole lot of crazy and hate.
P.S. Can’t wait to try the blondies!
An emotional and tough day for sure. Glad you kept yourself supported with good food and company
I’ve been watching videos about the victims too. It’s so important that their memory lives on. I can’t understand how anyone can look at another person and see anything BUT a person. Someone with hopes, dreams, and struggles. Family and friends. You don’t have to like everyone. Or their choices. But how does dislike erase the fact that everyone is entitled to live?
You are so right… I love you way you stated that “everyone is entitles to live.” <3
You’re totally right that all we can do at this point is to focus on the good. I really get sick thinking about some people and our world currently. Salad with tempeh – yes please! My favorite.
I have struggled to put my sadness and anger into words – there aren’t many I can find. one of our friends lost her friend – the bouncer whose face is the second shown in that video you shared. so much grief.
I cannot comprehend the inaction every. single time. and I cannot comprehend the (seemingly?) intelligent folks who just do not get it. I am a gun owner, I am not advocating “coming for your guns!”. but those who do not see that someone who is SIMPLY BEING WATCHED by the FBI, let alone questioned multiple times, should not be able to purchase firearms of any kind? I have nothing left to say to them.
I cannot imagine the fear you describe, but I fear losing my friends to horrendous acts like this one. my heart is with everyone hurting right now. my heart is with the victims, their families and loved ones, their pets, the first responders, everyone.
I’m so sorry for your friend. And I know what you mean… I can’t even begin to express everything I feel.
There are 3 guns in our house (thank you, Vegas), but there is a BIG difference between a revolver for protection and a military rifle. There’s just no reason anyone needs one of those, ESPECIALLY not someone who has ever been on a watch list.
I know this isn’t popular opinion, but I would be for repealing the second amendment all together.
Shhhhhh… (I know what you mean).
I just want to tell you I love you friend!!! When I want the cheer up I listen to music or a funny movie or be around awesome friends & food… Oh & wine hehe. Hugs!!
You’re the sweetest. Love you too! And yes, there was a bit ‘o wine. 😉
My heart aches too. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people, and here I am bringing a baby into this crazy world.
People are bat shit. Really. At least you’re bringing someone GOOD into the fold. xo
One of the first things we do in most cultures when someone dies is bring meals to their family. When my late husband died, I had a friend who called me every day for a good month to ask if I’d eaten lunch – since my answer, too often, was “Oh. Lunch. I really should…”
Those who live must still eat, and food is caring.
In its own way, what we do here matters.
Love this perspective… I didn’t even think of it like that, but you’re right. When my dad died, we had food for days. It’s one of the ways we, as a society, express love and care.
It is devastating and heartbreaking what has happened in Orlando. There are no words…. Reading the first part of your post really touched me. I hate that you have to live your life with that voice of fear in the back of your head. It’s your life and you should be able to live it and be with who ever makes you happy without having to look over your shoulder. That is not fair at all! I don’t understand how people can be so full of hate. It’s just so sad.
Thank you, Tara. I just hope that out of this comes some good, and we’re all a little more gentle with each other.
I am so saddened by these events, but remain confident LOVE and PEACE will win!
I couldn’t believe it either. So senseless and cruel. I generally try not to be too political in the blogging world, but in this case, I decry all of the hateful speech we’ve been hearing in our politics. I’m so sorry that this has hit so close to home for you.
Go “love conquers hate” guys. I hope they’re right.
Thank Joyce. I don’t say too much politically, but some things are just too important not to talk about.
I used to live in Orlando so it hit home for me too, even all the way over here in China. Wow. Can’t believe you’ve been to that exact club… So sad and I’m feeling for all the victims loved ones.
I know what you mean. My best friend lives in Orlando and it was really hard on her, never even having been anywhere near that club.
Heartbreakingly sad and terrifying at the same time. Just want to hug my kids a little tighter this week. xoxo
Brownies for breakfast, especially after Sunday. I’m frustrated and angry beyond words. I’ve been contacting my congressmen about guns for entirely too long and I get stock answers that clearly don’t solve anything. Living in fear isn’t really living. xoxo
Same here. We, as a society, have proven over and over again that something needs to be done. Maybe this time someone will take action. *fingers crossed*
what happened isnt even comprehend-able. sending so so so much love to you <3
it's so scary that now.. there really is nothing we can do. it can be anyone. know you DO have a support system <3
Thanks friend. It’s is a scary time, but one that will hopefully inspire action.
Thanks for your post about this tragedy Laura. It’s good to read what other fellow bloggers have to say about this horrific event. It has been really hard for me to blog about fitness and food in the last days since this horrible attack. I keep thinking about the victims and their families.
I really hope politician will wake up and do the right thing.
Thank you Ilka… it has been hard to think about much else. 🙁
My heart goes to you and Vegas. And everyone affected by the Orlando shooting. I don’t know what that fear is like, but I wish it’s something no one had to experience. Food IS love… Thanks for that reminder 🙂
Thank you Christina… it’s been a week and it’s just still so unbelievable.
Ugh. I know, what happened is SO unbelievably heartbreaking and twisted. I can never fathom how someone could have so much hatred in their heart for people they don’t even know — especially because that guy seems to be gay himself. I understand that secretly being gay coming from a background where it’s not just frowned upon to be so, but from where it’s illegal to be that way, must bring about a huge internal struggle. But to randomly shoot up a club full of people that weren’t afraid to be themselves? My heart aches for those people and their families too, lady. I’m an eternal optimist, but there’s no denying that the world can be a crazy, fucked up place.
Oh another note, I’m texting you now to see if you’re free this Friday. A spin gym in La Jolla is doing a benefit class for Orlando, and I’m up for going if you can make it with me!
I still can’t wrap my brain around it… I mean, we’ve all had internal struggles, but NEVER have I ever even had the idea handle problems like that. I wish he had lived so he could get his ass reamed in prison.
On a more positive note, yay spin! I hope you can get in!!!